We Opt To Adopt

We Opt To Adopt

Friday, September 26, 2014

Sawyer's .26 Court Hearing

Children's court is an interesting place. With all the time we spent waiting, it's hard to not look around and speculate why each person is there. Plus, some people just draw attention to themselves. It's really not that hard to leave your slippers at home, come with makeup already on your face, and wear clean nice clothes. Sawyer's birth mother did not show up for the court hearing which was not a surprise. It was a relief that she wasn't there because I imagine it would've been very awkward for everyone involved. She might not recognize our faces, but we will never forget what she looks like. She's been MIA for months now. As the hours passed by we were beginning to wonder if we could ever be called or if the hearing would be postponed again. Ron, Elizabeth (our Family Connections social worker), and I waited for 3 and a half hours before being called into the court room.

Our time in the court room with the judge was very short. It was said that both the county social worker for Sawyer and birth mother's attorney couldn't locate Sawyer's birth mom. The attorney's words were, "If I could've found her, we would be appealing the decision for parental rights to be terminated." Our history with Sawyer, our intention to adopt, and our feelings about him were discussed by the judge. The judge thanked us for our hearts for this child. Then denial of parental rights was granted by Fresno County Superior Court. The judge thanked us for dressing up and respecting the court. And that pretty much sums it up.

I expected to feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but I didn't. I actually felt more nervous than ever because now we had to wait 70 days to see if Sawyer's birth mom would appeal the court's decision. We had reason to believe that she wasn't in Fresno County anymore, but that was just speculation. All we could do is pray that she would stay away for at least 70 more days.

Until next time...

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Update on Sawyer

Life has been busy these past few months, as we knew it would be. I've been unsuccessfully trying to write an update for months. But between meeting the demands of two babies, working part time, and keeping a 'semi' tidy house there has not been much spare time. Oh motherhood! We learned very quickly that life with one baby is easy and life with two babies was challenging. One baby + one baby does not equal 2 babies when they are so young. With time and practice we got better at juggling their needs. With two babies in the house, they would easy gang up on me when Ron wasn't around or vice versa. The littlest of accomplishments, like going to the grocery store with both of them or eating three meals in a day, seemed like huge victories in the beginning.

It's been almost 6 months since Sawyer came back into our lives. The day we reunified with Sawyer was so special. He looked nothing like we thought he would, but was super cute. He had gotten so big, which made us realized how much we had missed in the time he was away. He changed so much. He wasn't that same tiny little peanut we had been forced to say good bye to months prior. He was so smiley as soon as he saw us even though to him we were complete strangers. We were excited to welcome him back into our lives, but I will never forget the panic I felt when the adrenaline of the day wore off and I realized I was responsible for two babies now.

The morning after Sawyer's return, he was set to have visitation with his birth mom. And to our surprise it was going to be for 3 hours instead of the 2 hours once a week that it had been. This is because the family that stole him from us and then gave him up had been missing their weekly mandated visitation and now we were forced to make up the missed time for them. Ron took Sawyer to visitation and his birth mom didn't show up. She didn't show up for the next two weekly visits either. At that point visitation was cancelled until she calls and requests to see him. We have had Sawyer back for nearly 6 months now and he hasn't seen his birth mom a single time. She has every right to see him because parental rights haven't been terminated yet, but in the mean time her visits were reduced to once a month if and when she chooses to see him.

September 3, 2014 was supposed to be the court hearing for termination of parental rights of Sawyer's birth parents. However, as we know all to well by now Department of Social Services is very disorganized and because of this they didn't process the birth father paperwork in time. The hearing has been postponed until September 26, 2014. All our sources tell us that the judge will terminate parental rights, but his birth mom has 60 days to appeal the decision. If she chooses to appeal the decision it will be several months before we can officially adopt him. If she doesn't appeal then we should be able adopt him before the end of the year. We have faith that this is his forever home, it is just a matter of time until he gets to steal our last name. By now we are use to waiting, but it hard to deal with the Department of Social Services while we wait for them to get their act together. It's hard to be a normal family while having to follow all their rules.

Sawyer is thriving in our home. He adjusted fairly well considering all he's been through in his short life. It's not his fault he was taken away from everything he had ever known not once, but twice. I can't even imagine how scared and confused he must have felt when he was taken from our home at 1 month old and when he came back at 4 months old.

It's hard to believe that Sawyer is already 10 months old (almost 11 months old). He is happy, healthy, and constantly on the move. He loves to explore, climb on his dogs and his brother, and destroy (He earned himself the nickname 'Sawyer the Destroyer'). He has challenged me in ways I never imagined, but helped me to become a better mother for both of my boys.

Until next time...