The day after C's due date was Ron's birthday. Ron decided that for his birthday he wanted to feel youthful and go to 2xtreme Arena, which is a trampoline arena. I was so excited that he wanted to go there because I LOVE trampolines so much. If our backyard was big enough we would have one. Ron was not liking the idea of turning 29, as it is way to close to 30. We should've known that 'trying to feel young' would be a recipe for disaster. Our time slot to jump was for 1 hour, which doesn't seem like that long but it was plenty of time. Less than 5 minutes had passed by and we were already tired and needing a break. Talk about feeling old! We had a lot of fun jumping from trampoline to trampoline, bouncing up onto the trampolines that are at an incline against the wall, and flipping into the foam pit. About halfway through our time there my back was starting to feel sore but I wasn't about to stop jumping. We paid for an hour so I would jump for an hour, and I did. Afterwards we were starving so we headed across town to our favorite sushi place for Ron's birthday lunch. At that point my back pain had increased and was really stiff. I was looking forward to going to work the following day so the physical therapists could fix me. Oh the joys of working at a physical therapy office. By the time we had finished lunch I could hardly get out of my chair to leave and could only walk a few steps at a time. I was headed downhill fast. When we got home Ron tricked me into taking a Norco for the pain, but all it did was make me dizzy and cause ringing in my ears. Within a couple hours I couldn't walk anymore. Every time I tried to stand my back would spasm and all I could do was fall back down to the bed and cry from the pain. I couldn't even tolerate Ron carrying me. All I could do was crawl. It was pathetic. I was thankful that I had vacuumed and mopped the floors the day before, especially the bathroom floor. I had officially ruined Ron's birthday and felt awful about it. Ron wanted to take me to urgent care or the emergency room but I refused. I said I wanted to see how I felt in 24 hours and I would make a decision then. I had convinced myself that I would be much better in the morning. I had to be better because I was supposed to take C to a doctor appointment that morning and because I was going to be a mom soon. C's doctor would most likely be setting a date to induce her since she was now 2 days past her due date.
The morning came and amazingly I could stand. With Ron's help I was able to slowly walk from the bed to the bathroom. As I stood back up and got ready to head back to bed my vision started to go black. Next thing I remember is hearing Ron's voice but not being able to answer. More time passed and I realized somehow I was back in bed and Ron was screaming at me to wake up. I had passed out. Ron caught me as I collapsed and dragged me back to bed. Evidently when I collapsed I started convulsing and stopped breathing. Ron says he was seconds away from breaking my ribs. He had just learned in his CPR class that effective chest compressions result in broken ribs. I stopped being stubborn and off to the ER we went. Being a Community Hospital employee paid off and I didn't have to wait at all to be seen. An x-ray of my spine came back normal. I was given some meds to see if that would take the edge off my pain and it did just enough to be able to walk again. I was sent home with the "magical" pain medicine that gave me the ability to walk again and was told to rest for a week. Never again will I take for granted being able to walk!
While all of my drama was going on, C was supposed to be going to her doctor appointment with a social worker from the adoption agency. But once again she had some lame excuse as to why she couldn't attend her appointment and said she would reschedule it for the following day. We didn't have the energy to stress about why she was doing this. At this point we were almost relieved that she hadn't gone into labor and that she wouldn't be induced at least for one more day. We needed at least one day to kind of regroup from everything that had happened in the last 24 hours.
The following day the adoption agency wasn't able to get into contact with C because she wasn't answering her phone. We had no idea if she had gone to the doctor or if she had flaked once again. I also attempted to make contact with her but she didn't respond. That evening she sent me a text that said, "I'm at the hospital. I have no service and my phone is almost dead. Sorry." At this point my mind is running wild. How long has she been at the hospital? How far along is she? Is she going to want us there like she had planned? Has she given birth? Why didn't she contact us sooner? Is she going to change her mind? I contacted the agency so they could figure out what was going on. Within 30 minutes we had an update on C. She was in labor, 8 cm along, and wavering on her decision to give up the baby for adoption.
I don't even want to try and describe how we were feeling, so I won't. All we could do was pray for a miracle. Pray that she would remember why she had decided to make an adoption plan. Pray that if God's plan for us was to be parents to this little boy that everything would fall into place. On 8/21/13 she delivered a healthy baby boy. A baby that we had been praying for. A baby that we would never hold or see. The following afternoon she decided that she wanted to keep him...
Until next time...
We Opt To Adopt
Friday, September 27, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
Part 1: Cautiously Optimistic
So now I've reached the point in our story where things get tough to talk about...
It was a normal Friday afternoon (6/21/13) when we got a call from the adoption agency. We were told that our profile had been shown to a birth mother and that we had been chosen. We were ecstatic! This was the first time our profile was shown to a birth mom and it was picked. We must of done a better job than we thought of making ourselves appear awesome in our photo album. We never imagined that we would be picked so soon. We weren't even technically 'waiting' yet because our home visit hadn't been completed. However, our agency presented our profile to this birth mom because our homestudy would be completed by the time she gives birth. We just assumed we would be one of those couples that has to wait a year before they are picked and we were prepared to wait. It would all happen in God's perfect timing.
The birth mom, lets call her 'C', was due August 17, 2013. She was having a boy! She was choosing to make an adoption plan for her son because she was only 18 years old and this would be her 3rd child. Bad decision making had gotten her where she was. Pregnant, practically homeless, jobless, a mother to a 1 year old and a 2 year old, baby daddy not in the picture, and no current plans to make a better life for herself.
We were less than 2 months away from being parents! It seemed so surreal. It seemed like everything was just falling in to place. Everything up to this point had seemed so easy. We were told by our social worker to be 'cautiously optimistic'. I will forever remember this statement because we heard it so much. Even though we were excited we needed to remember that just because she she had picked us to adopt her son, didn't mean that she would follow through with her plan. Because of this we only told our parents and a few of our closest friends.
During this time of waiting for August 17th to come around we finished preparing the nursery. We had tried to make the nursery as gender neutral as possible because when we had started it we didn't know if we would be getting a boy or a girl. It ended up looking a little more suited for a boy, but at this point that was okay because we were to supposed to be getting a boy. We bought a car seat, diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, a few outfits, and all the things we needed to get through the first couple of days with him. I am not one to be unprepared, so we prepared. We figured even if things didn't work out, we would be able to use what we purchased on some child in the future.
Side note... Has anyone ever tried to fit an infant car seat in the back of a 2 door Jeep Wrangler? It is not an easy task! After several trips to Babies R Us and Buy Buy Baby, research done of Jeep Forums, and calls to the Jeep dealership we were able to solve the mystery. Thank goodness because selling my Jeep was out of the question. I love it way to much. We knew we couldn't be the only ones that feel a 2 door Jeep Wrangler is a suitable family vehicle!
Our adoption journey started to get more difficult right after we were matched with C. Adoption isn't as easy as it is portrayed on t.v. or in the movies. We were watching Friends the other night and had to laugh at how easy the adoption process was for Chandler and Monica. Most pregnant women that end up at an adoption agency aren't knocked up high school cheerleaders. They are women whose lives are in total in disarray. C wanted to meet us and we wanted to meet her. We thought it was important to build a relationship so that we were just more than 2 strangers in a picture to her. We also wanted our future child to know where he came from.
C invited me to a doctor appointment a week and a half after we were matched. Her social worker would be attending the appointment as well and would introduce us and help break the ice. The day of the doctor appointment came and C had some lame excuse as to why she couldn't attend the appointment. One week later we were scheduled to try and meet again. This time we would be meeting at the adoption agency and Ron would be attending as well. The day of that meeting came and once again she couldn't meet with us. By this time we are left feeling confused and sad. It takes days to mentally prepare ourselves for the meeting because if she doesn't like us she is entitled to change her mind and choose another family. A week later another meeting was scheduled. I didn't get my hopes up because I figured she would flake out again. To our surprise she actually followed through and we ended up meeting her. Overall our meeting with her went well. She was friendly, chatty, and easy to talk to. We got to ask questions about her interests, her family, the birth father, and her kids. Her mother showed up to our meeting about half way through it which was interesting because at that point in time her mom was not okay with her decision to give the baby up for adoption. Her mom had some very blunt, in your face questions for us which Ron answered to like a champ. At the end of our visit her mom pulled me aside and said, "I came in here not wanting to like you but now I have nothing bad to say about you." Wow, what a complete turn around!
I was invited to another doctor appointment and week and a half after our visit with C. The day of the appointment came and an hour before the appointment she flaked out. Surprise, surprise. A few days later I get a call from her that 2 days ago she went to the hospital because she was having contractions but she was sent home because she was only dilated 1 cm and not progressing. At this point she was less than 3 weeks away from her due date. Ron and I were excited at the possibility of her giving birth soon. We just wanted to know if he was going to be ours or if we were going to have to move on. Our social worker was excited for us because every one was having a hard time reading her. C was excited because she was so over being pregnant and wanted to get on with her life. It was exciting knowing that she could give birth at any time now and that we might finally be parents and give this little guy such a great life filled with love and opportunity.
In the next 3 weeks she had 3 doctor appointments. All of which I was invited to and she actually followed through with. It was a great time get to know each other better and build our relationship. I got to hear his heartbeat at 2 of these appointments. And saw him briefly on an ultrasound one time. So amazing! It was getting harder and harder to stay 'cautiously optimistic' as her due date approached. I just wanted to be 100% excited, but at the back of our minds we knew that there was a chance she could change her mind about the adoption plan and we would be left with nothing other than an empty bank account.
Do you see a trend here? She flakes out several times, then follows through with plans, flakes, and then follows through. All the while we are having highs and lows with our emotions. What a roller coaster ride. It's not fun having to just play along. It's not like we can lecture her for not following through with an appointment, as much as we wanted to. And then when we do see her, we have to pretend like it's no big deal that she does this. Ahhhhhh!! Our social worker assured us that this is normal behavior for a birth mom and that even the most flaky birth moms have followed through with their adoption plan. Sometimes the most responsible birth moms are the ones that don't follow through with the adoption plan. There is just no telling how the story will play out until after the child is born.
Her due date came (8/17/13) and went and she hadn't given birth. The last 3 weeks had felt like the longest 3 weeks in our lives as we waited and waited for her to go in full on labor. So we tried to stay busy and live our lives normally but life took some unexpected turns and things started to spiral out of control very quickly.
Until next time...
It was a normal Friday afternoon (6/21/13) when we got a call from the adoption agency. We were told that our profile had been shown to a birth mother and that we had been chosen. We were ecstatic! This was the first time our profile was shown to a birth mom and it was picked. We must of done a better job than we thought of making ourselves appear awesome in our photo album. We never imagined that we would be picked so soon. We weren't even technically 'waiting' yet because our home visit hadn't been completed. However, our agency presented our profile to this birth mom because our homestudy would be completed by the time she gives birth. We just assumed we would be one of those couples that has to wait a year before they are picked and we were prepared to wait. It would all happen in God's perfect timing.
The birth mom, lets call her 'C', was due August 17, 2013. She was having a boy! She was choosing to make an adoption plan for her son because she was only 18 years old and this would be her 3rd child. Bad decision making had gotten her where she was. Pregnant, practically homeless, jobless, a mother to a 1 year old and a 2 year old, baby daddy not in the picture, and no current plans to make a better life for herself.
We were less than 2 months away from being parents! It seemed so surreal. It seemed like everything was just falling in to place. Everything up to this point had seemed so easy. We were told by our social worker to be 'cautiously optimistic'. I will forever remember this statement because we heard it so much. Even though we were excited we needed to remember that just because she she had picked us to adopt her son, didn't mean that she would follow through with her plan. Because of this we only told our parents and a few of our closest friends.
During this time of waiting for August 17th to come around we finished preparing the nursery. We had tried to make the nursery as gender neutral as possible because when we had started it we didn't know if we would be getting a boy or a girl. It ended up looking a little more suited for a boy, but at this point that was okay because we were to supposed to be getting a boy. We bought a car seat, diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, a few outfits, and all the things we needed to get through the first couple of days with him. I am not one to be unprepared, so we prepared. We figured even if things didn't work out, we would be able to use what we purchased on some child in the future.
Side note... Has anyone ever tried to fit an infant car seat in the back of a 2 door Jeep Wrangler? It is not an easy task! After several trips to Babies R Us and Buy Buy Baby, research done of Jeep Forums, and calls to the Jeep dealership we were able to solve the mystery. Thank goodness because selling my Jeep was out of the question. I love it way to much. We knew we couldn't be the only ones that feel a 2 door Jeep Wrangler is a suitable family vehicle!
Our adoption journey started to get more difficult right after we were matched with C. Adoption isn't as easy as it is portrayed on t.v. or in the movies. We were watching Friends the other night and had to laugh at how easy the adoption process was for Chandler and Monica. Most pregnant women that end up at an adoption agency aren't knocked up high school cheerleaders. They are women whose lives are in total in disarray. C wanted to meet us and we wanted to meet her. We thought it was important to build a relationship so that we were just more than 2 strangers in a picture to her. We also wanted our future child to know where he came from.
C invited me to a doctor appointment a week and a half after we were matched. Her social worker would be attending the appointment as well and would introduce us and help break the ice. The day of the doctor appointment came and C had some lame excuse as to why she couldn't attend the appointment. One week later we were scheduled to try and meet again. This time we would be meeting at the adoption agency and Ron would be attending as well. The day of that meeting came and once again she couldn't meet with us. By this time we are left feeling confused and sad. It takes days to mentally prepare ourselves for the meeting because if she doesn't like us she is entitled to change her mind and choose another family. A week later another meeting was scheduled. I didn't get my hopes up because I figured she would flake out again. To our surprise she actually followed through and we ended up meeting her. Overall our meeting with her went well. She was friendly, chatty, and easy to talk to. We got to ask questions about her interests, her family, the birth father, and her kids. Her mother showed up to our meeting about half way through it which was interesting because at that point in time her mom was not okay with her decision to give the baby up for adoption. Her mom had some very blunt, in your face questions for us which Ron answered to like a champ. At the end of our visit her mom pulled me aside and said, "I came in here not wanting to like you but now I have nothing bad to say about you." Wow, what a complete turn around!
I was invited to another doctor appointment and week and a half after our visit with C. The day of the appointment came and an hour before the appointment she flaked out. Surprise, surprise. A few days later I get a call from her that 2 days ago she went to the hospital because she was having contractions but she was sent home because she was only dilated 1 cm and not progressing. At this point she was less than 3 weeks away from her due date. Ron and I were excited at the possibility of her giving birth soon. We just wanted to know if he was going to be ours or if we were going to have to move on. Our social worker was excited for us because every one was having a hard time reading her. C was excited because she was so over being pregnant and wanted to get on with her life. It was exciting knowing that she could give birth at any time now and that we might finally be parents and give this little guy such a great life filled with love and opportunity.
In the next 3 weeks she had 3 doctor appointments. All of which I was invited to and she actually followed through with. It was a great time get to know each other better and build our relationship. I got to hear his heartbeat at 2 of these appointments. And saw him briefly on an ultrasound one time. So amazing! It was getting harder and harder to stay 'cautiously optimistic' as her due date approached. I just wanted to be 100% excited, but at the back of our minds we knew that there was a chance she could change her mind about the adoption plan and we would be left with nothing other than an empty bank account.
Do you see a trend here? She flakes out several times, then follows through with plans, flakes, and then follows through. All the while we are having highs and lows with our emotions. What a roller coaster ride. It's not fun having to just play along. It's not like we can lecture her for not following through with an appointment, as much as we wanted to. And then when we do see her, we have to pretend like it's no big deal that she does this. Ahhhhhh!! Our social worker assured us that this is normal behavior for a birth mom and that even the most flaky birth moms have followed through with their adoption plan. Sometimes the most responsible birth moms are the ones that don't follow through with the adoption plan. There is just no telling how the story will play out until after the child is born.
Her due date came (8/17/13) and went and she hadn't given birth. The last 3 weeks had felt like the longest 3 weeks in our lives as we waited and waited for her to go in full on labor. So we tried to stay busy and live our lives normally but life took some unexpected turns and things started to spiral out of control very quickly.
Until next time...
Friday, September 13, 2013
Hurry Up And Wait
It seems like we started the adoption process years ago, but in reality it has only been 6 months. We met with a couple different agencies in town and decided on Family Connections Christian Adoptions (FCCA). They have been awesome to work with and we only have good things to say about them. FCCA has a total of 6 agencies here in California that all work together as a team. What's great about that is that our 'profile' (an album that we made with a letter to potential birth moms and pictures that showcase our life = how amazing we are or want to appear) can be shown to a birth mom from any of the 6 agencies, which increases our chances of being picked by a birth mother. So when we do get our baby it will be from California. A birth mother could pick us in her last trimester or we could get a call at any moment that we have been chosen by a mother that has just delivered and a baby is waiting for us at the hospital. We hope we are lucky enough to just get a call that we have been selected and a baby is waiting for us at the hospital.
It's really too bad that there aren't prerequisites to complete before becoming a parent for ALL parents, not just for adoptive and foster parents. Although, if this were the case there would probably never be any children to adopt. As it seems people are squeezing out children right in the WIC office entrance way or at their mailbox as they pick up their EBT cards. Most people have no clue how much paperwork there is to be completed, classes to be taken, and home preparation that has to be done (and no I'm not talking about preparing a nursery) prior to being deemed worthy of becoming adoptive parents.
The abridged version of the process goes a little something like this:
It's really too bad that there aren't prerequisites to complete before becoming a parent for ALL parents, not just for adoptive and foster parents. Although, if this were the case there would probably never be any children to adopt. As it seems people are squeezing out children right in the WIC office entrance way or at their mailbox as they pick up their EBT cards. Most people have no clue how much paperwork there is to be completed, classes to be taken, and home preparation that has to be done (and no I'm not talking about preparing a nursery) prior to being deemed worthy of becoming adoptive parents.
The abridged version of the process goes a little something like this:
- Information Session
- Or what I like to call the FREE class! Please note that this is the only part of the adoption process that is actually free.
- Intake Interview
- Basically a meeting to find out if the agency can help us with our adoption plans. Yes, they can help us. Now the craziness begins!
- Class #1, #2 & #3 (each of which are about 4 hours)
- Topics included homestudy requirements, bonding and attachment, special needs children, relinquisment vs. fos-adopt, changing unacceptable behaviors, your child's past, community resources, etc.
- A mountain of paperwork and checklists
- Financial Statement (with monthly expenditures, monthly income, assets and liabilities, insurance coverage), employment verification, tax returns, completed Live Scan, proof of health insurance, proof of auto coverage, 10 year DMV reports, CPR/First Aid certification, a complete physical health examination, TB test, emergency care and disaster plan, drawing of floor plan of our home, completed water safety class, self studies (which is pretty much our life story from birth until present time), home checklist (this particular checklist had 83 items to be completed) and the list goes on and on and on... let's just say we did less paperwork to buy our home during the economic crisis.
- Panel of Adoptive Parents
- 4 families that have adopted from the agency share their real life experiences of the adoption process. There was one family that did international adoption, one family that did domestic adoption, and 2 families that adopted from the foster care system. During this panel we had the opportunity to meet some of the children which was awesome to see how thankful they were for their parents.
- Individual Interviews
- We met with our social worker individually for counseling. The overall purpose of this is to see if we are balanced individuals and if Ron and I have a strong marriage that can handle the stresses of the adoption process and the stresses of parenthood. During this process we learned that Ron feels he always lets me win fights and I always let him win. Who knew there was actually no winner?!
- Buddy Family Visit
- We met one on one with a family that did a domestic adoption through the agency and got to hear their story and ask questions. Ron's favorite part was playing with their 2 year old son and getting free dessert. Okay... there are two free parts to adoption.
- Home Visit
- This is when our social worker visited our home. I was most worried about this visit because a lot was riding on this. This was the last step before we were officially considered 'waiting' for a child. I cleaned the house for weeks prior to the visit and I keep a clean house to start. My cleaning became slightly compulsive, which I think helped with all my nervous energy. Our house had never been cleaner, except for when we first moved in 5 years ago. This process was not quite what we expected, but it was good. Our social worker Elizabeth has a great sense of humor and made Ron nervous when she pretended we weren't suitable parents when she asked if we had firearms. Yes, they were in the gun safe.
Now that all the paperwork was done, this is where it got more difficult for us. Seeing as Ron is a go-getter and I am extremely organized/Type A personality this part was needless to say tougher than anything we had faced up to this point. Not being in control of the future is a challenge for us. We would often be asked, "So... how's it going with the process?" and we would have to respond something to the nature of, "...just waiting now." Blah... literally there were no words for the feeling of the tailspin journey we had embarked on.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Lets rewind and go back to the beginning
It's funny how life never turns out the way you think it is going to. I thought by now Ron and I would have at least one kid, maybe two. After all, I got 'baby fever' and was ready to start having kids a year after we were married. It took Ron a little longer to come around to that idea. He was the one who was thinking rationally and wanted us to finish school and have good jobs first. We thought we had everything figured out. God sure did have other plans in mind, we just didn't know it yet. As Ron's Grandma says, "If you want to see God laugh, make plans".
We tried to get pregnant the old fashioned way for over 2 years before we sought out the help of an infertility specialist. Deep down I felt that something was wrong. Why else would it be taking so long? Everyone on both sides of our families are baby making machines. So how could this be happening to us? Meanwhile it seemed that ALL of our friends, neighbors, and relatives were getting pregnant. The more time that went on the harder it was to be happy for whoever it was that was getting pregnant, especially for me. It seemed that every time I got on facebook some one else was announcing their pregnancy. I was extremely jealous. I didn't want to be, but I was. I am sorry to all of you whose baby showers I didn't attend or to those of you I distanced myself from because it was too hard to hear about your pregnancy. After many expensive tests and procedures we were left with two decisions. Keep trying other tests and procedures that were increasingly more expensive or try IUI (intrauterine insemination). We chose neither.
Months past by and I was left feeling like I was never going to be a mom. I tried so hard to be okay with the fact that I would be childless (with the exception of my brown four legged furry friends aka Riley and Piper). I felt that horrible that I couldn't be content with what I already had. Poor Ron, I feel so bad for the roller coaster of my emotions that he dealt with and is still dealing with, just in a different way now.
Adoption had always been in the back of my mind. Ron was all for it and was ready to pursue it much sooner than I was. Ron grew up in a family that was surrounded by both ends of adoption. My biggest issue was that I didn't feel that I should have to pay tons of money for a child when the majority of other couples don't have to. I told myself that adoption would be something we would never pursue because I didn't want to have pay $[insert gigantic number here] in adoption expenses for a child. It's not like the income of a Social Worker and a Physical Therapy Aide add up to very much.
It's really too bad that we couldn't just ask one of the many 'knocked up' 16 year olds at the high school near our house if they wanted to give us their baby. Every time we would see a pregnant 16 year old walking down the street Ron would say, "She's cute. Do you think she wants to give us her baby?" She would be thrilled to be getting the thousands of dollars we would offer to her and we would feel like we were getting a baby on clearance. Seems like a win-win situation. If only it could be that easy!
Everyone knows what adoption is, but we really had no idea what the process was like. One day at work I had a conversation with a co-worker that was going through the adoption process. It was so nice to talk to someone and get some real insight on adoption, other than what can be found on the internet. His experience with the process was so different than what I had thought it would be like. It almost seemed easy. Little did I know at the time how different everyone's adoptive journey could be. It got me excited about adoption. It was like something in my heart changed instantaneously. Ron was thrilled that I was finally ready to pursue this. I left him in charge of setting up an informational meeting to see what all this adoption nonsense was all about. Within a short time our prayers turned from, "Where do we go from here Lord?" to , "Here we go Lord!".
Until next time...
We tried to get pregnant the old fashioned way for over 2 years before we sought out the help of an infertility specialist. Deep down I felt that something was wrong. Why else would it be taking so long? Everyone on both sides of our families are baby making machines. So how could this be happening to us? Meanwhile it seemed that ALL of our friends, neighbors, and relatives were getting pregnant. The more time that went on the harder it was to be happy for whoever it was that was getting pregnant, especially for me. It seemed that every time I got on facebook some one else was announcing their pregnancy. I was extremely jealous. I didn't want to be, but I was. I am sorry to all of you whose baby showers I didn't attend or to those of you I distanced myself from because it was too hard to hear about your pregnancy. After many expensive tests and procedures we were left with two decisions. Keep trying other tests and procedures that were increasingly more expensive or try IUI (intrauterine insemination). We chose neither.
Months past by and I was left feeling like I was never going to be a mom. I tried so hard to be okay with the fact that I would be childless (with the exception of my brown four legged furry friends aka Riley and Piper). I felt that horrible that I couldn't be content with what I already had. Poor Ron, I feel so bad for the roller coaster of my emotions that he dealt with and is still dealing with, just in a different way now.
Adoption had always been in the back of my mind. Ron was all for it and was ready to pursue it much sooner than I was. Ron grew up in a family that was surrounded by both ends of adoption. My biggest issue was that I didn't feel that I should have to pay tons of money for a child when the majority of other couples don't have to. I told myself that adoption would be something we would never pursue because I didn't want to have pay $[insert gigantic number here] in adoption expenses for a child. It's not like the income of a Social Worker and a Physical Therapy Aide add up to very much.
It's really too bad that we couldn't just ask one of the many 'knocked up' 16 year olds at the high school near our house if they wanted to give us their baby. Every time we would see a pregnant 16 year old walking down the street Ron would say, "She's cute. Do you think she wants to give us her baby?" She would be thrilled to be getting the thousands of dollars we would offer to her and we would feel like we were getting a baby on clearance. Seems like a win-win situation. If only it could be that easy!
Everyone knows what adoption is, but we really had no idea what the process was like. One day at work I had a conversation with a co-worker that was going through the adoption process. It was so nice to talk to someone and get some real insight on adoption, other than what can be found on the internet. His experience with the process was so different than what I had thought it would be like. It almost seemed easy. Little did I know at the time how different everyone's adoptive journey could be. It got me excited about adoption. It was like something in my heart changed instantaneously. Ron was thrilled that I was finally ready to pursue this. I left him in charge of setting up an informational meeting to see what all this adoption nonsense was all about. Within a short time our prayers turned from, "Where do we go from here Lord?" to , "Here we go Lord!".
Until next time...
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